The Fat Turtle

Welcome to the Fat Turtle, a Boston-based food blog on ingest-able  items that support American obesity, artery clog, heart attacks, and shorter lifespans.  Navigation is on the bar above, categorized by degree of negative health benefits and level of potential harm to my wallet. Drop-down menu options list the various projects that are being undertaken. All photos and graphics are taken and drawn by me so please don’t take them without permission. If you do, Alfonso will be sad.


The Chinatown Project: I will be scanning the menus of all Boston Chinatown restaurants and uploading them to this website. Additionally, thanks to my current obsession with Sesame/General Gao’s chicken and scallion pancakes, I will be writing reviews on those two menu items from each of those restaurants. It’s really hard to compare Chinese restaurants with one another because of the large number of menu items so I figured that I’d standardize my reviews. SO, I’m going to say right now that whatever I’m writing is NOT going to be a review of the restaurant but of their sesame/general gao’s chicken and scallion pancakes. Also, I hate getting those two things delivered since 45 minutes in a carton takes away the crispy goodness of it all so my reviews are going to be based solely on what is presented to me in the restaurant.
The Mother of All Nachos Going to BU has nurtured the nacho snob within me. After getting introduced to the Sunset Family (“Allston’s Finest”), I’ve been almost obsessive with finding bigger/better nachos. Boston has no shortage of nachos, but finding GOOD nachos is quite a challenge. I’ll probably need to enlist help for this project since it would probably take me forever and cause me to gain 100 pounds if I were to attempt this on my own.
The Starve To Eat My gourmet, fine dining project. Restaurants visited will be judged on not only taste and presentation, but service as well. Restaurant Week is going to be big for this project so keep a look out!
Ice Cream Factory
I will be reviewing all store-available ice cream brands and whatever little ice cream shops I happen to chance by. Once again, I’m going to standardize my reviews as much as possible so I will be reviewing either butter pecan, pistachio, or any other nutty flavor.
 Carbicide Conquering Boston’s handful of bakeries is a feasible and delicious project. I’m not too big of a sweets person, but I love brownies and I love a good baguette (ciabatta works too) so those two items will be my benchmark for this project.